my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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