Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize