He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
