I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize