PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
