I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize