Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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