I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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