Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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