no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
