So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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