You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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