respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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