Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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