Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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