Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
