Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
