Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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