i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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