White coat. Heels.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
