i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize