I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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