do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
