You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
