We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have post one night stand depression
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