having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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