She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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