I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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