Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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