I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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