Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
