so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
