just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
