he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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