Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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