don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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