im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
