i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
