One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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