i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
