there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
