We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
