The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Farmville is her only friend.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
