Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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