"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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