i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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