I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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