1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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