Moan for me like Helen Keller
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
