you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
smell my finger.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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