haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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