Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
