he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
