dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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