Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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