haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
