Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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