Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize