You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just found a bag of teeth...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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