Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
