Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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