if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize