I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize