just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this will be a night to untag.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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