I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
