You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
