I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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