Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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